Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I sprained my soul last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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