I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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