Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
