I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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