i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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