She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Randomize
