I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
