Nicole vs. Life
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize