youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
