are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
