____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
