Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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