we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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