my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
