How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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