I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
