I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have already put on my inside pants.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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