It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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