she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
