Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
