I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
