Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
