nut hugger
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
