she looked like the before picture.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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