You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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