Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
