who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love having hate sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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