The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
that is very illegal...i love you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
