Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
