She's JV to your varsity
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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