I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
should my penis look like a turkey
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
