He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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