toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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