He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
