Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
