went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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