I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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