So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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