The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
