I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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