ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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