Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
