She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
