he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
