it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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