its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
