oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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