When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
