my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
