Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
