What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
