She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
